Sex and the Writer
When was the last time you had sex? What was the occasion? Was it comforting been-together-a-long-time sex? Make-up sex after a bust up? Passionate, I’ve-been-waiting-so-long-for-this-moment sex? First or second date sex? Or a quickie?
Note there is no suggestion here of ‘50 Shades of Grey’ sex in this list. I’m not talking pornography or even erotica. Just the common or garden variety sex that most people have over their lifetime.
Previously my novels have been for pre-teens or YA, without need to write a sex scene. In my recent adult novel, I found myself writing (to my great surprise) four different sex scenes. As I began to write the first one, I had written maybe two sentences and decided I couldn’t do it right at that time! Too difficult. I wrote ‘yada yada yada’ and hoped the words would come next time! Which they did.
The first was a five-years-married, comfortable-with-each-other episode. That was probably the easiest to write. A little bit of teasing, familiarity and ease with each other, knowing what works for each participant. Satisfying, pleasurable and satiating.
The second was a tentative is-this-okay and will-you-still-respect-me-in-the-morning scene. Sex to break a drought, but not to further a relationship. A mutual admiration, but don’t tell me you love me situation. Someone always gets hurt. And they did.
Then there was a jolly good romp, never-did-that-before, move-in-with-me-that’s-just-so-exciting scene. Never going to work out. And it didn’t.
And the last was a passionate been-waiting-all-my-life-for-you scene that nicely rounds out a semi-chick-lit novel. Boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy finds girl.
Where does it all come from? Personal experience? Reading books? Watching movies? But then you actually have to write the WORDS that make up the scene. Use the WORDS that describe body parts, feelings, emotions. Use the WORDS that says who did what to whom.
That was the most difficult element. How much to put in, what to leave out? What to infer. Do I leave the protagonists hanging? Or the reader?
Next time you read a sex scene in a book, imagine yourself writing it. Next time you are enjoying a bit of rumpy-pumpy imagine yourself writing it. Have fun, either way!
PS - This is the first blog that hasn’t had a picture that I’ve taken or has been taken on our property. I didn’t think the old boy would appreciate being a model!
